It’s 9:55. You can barely open your eyes. Your room is a mess and you never got around to doing the readings for the class you have in 10 minutes.

So, the last thing you have time to do is pick out a cute little outfit to wear to class. I know, I understand.

But think about it this way…your pajamas are ugly.

Huge cotton pants with Care Bears all over them are cute when you’re watching TV at 10 PM…not so cute when you’re fetching coffee at 10 AM.

And as the day goes on pajamas scream “I didn’t take a shower today!” louder and louder until it’s 3 PM and (one would hope) you feel utterly silly.

So, I’m taking the time to beg all of you: Don’t wear pajamas to class! Unfortunately, this PJ trend is picking up a bit of steam and while I’m no fashion guru, I am so disappointed!

How difficult is it to throw on some jeans an a t-shirt? Put on an old hoodie!

Geez, I’d even allow UGGS if it meant you didn’t wear slippers. I mean, even those are picking up steam as totally trendy! Read More »

It has been a few months since breaking up with the ex and while he is out telling the world that I am still calling, I have been out on the town looking for a new man to bunk up with. Being that I am not living in some big city that allows for a Carrie-Bradshaw-Revolving-Door-Of-Men type situation, I have been resorting to some new ways of scouting out the men.

Namely, internet dating.

Ah! Say it ain’t so! I must be crazy, right? But seeing as I spend my days sharing my life stories via the internet, it only makes sense that I create some of those stories that way as well. Well, that and the fact that my brother met his wife online and they had a bomb ass wedding.

So far, so good. Actually, great.

I have come to realize that there are so many benefits to online dating. For one, I can do it from the comfort of my couch. In the comfort of my underwear. While enjoying a heaping bowl of Mac and Cheese (the ultimate comfort food!). All that comfort – paired with the fact that I can hide behind the glow of my computer screen – makes the whole getting to know you period a whole lot more…well, comfortable. Read More »

American Apparel makes me f*cking nauseous.

Actually, let me restate that. American Apparel’s ads make me f*cking nauseous.

Their clothes are fine—if you enjoy looking like every other “non conformist” out there—but their ads are so annoying I feel the need to scream at everyone involved in making them.

It’s no news that AA enjoys exploiting the tired, probably drugged, dead-eyed look of the ubiqutious New York Hipster, but I just can’t understand how skinny, messy haired models photographed in bad lighting is supposed to make me want to buy clothes.

I guess if I was as desperate as them to be cool, saw a bunch of sluggish girls wearing one-piece bodysuits, and thought to myself, “Wearing an American Apparel bodysuit will make me so cool I’ll be bored!” I’d be likely to buy a brightly hued shirt or two.

But other than having no sense of self, I can’t understand why jaded models who look like they’re 12 would influence me to purchase anything—let alone a pair of silver lamé work-out shorts. Read More »

Ever think to yourself, “Damn, Self, where can I go to find jeans that are not only ugly, but whorish at the same time?”

Well, someone did.

Bikini jeans, the new clothing invention by someone who worships Britney Spears, have begun their decent on fashion, fugging girls up one by one.

These blinding jeans supposedly have their origins in Japan, but after doing a little research, I found them being sold for $80 on a “Bazillion Fashion” website. As far as I’m concerned, it doesn’t matter what country is responsible, all that matters is that they cease and desist.

Underwear and jeans? Since when was this combo necessary? Read More »

Alright, so…..first was the return of the fanny pack. So unfortunate.But now, it’s SHOULDER PADS???

I thought these pointed, puffy creatures were dead for good. Guess not, cause runways everywhere are showing them, i.e. Style.com’s slide show revealing Shoulder Pad Fashion from top designers such as Dior and Gucci. Come on guys, really?

Ugh. My mom used to make me wear blazers with shoulder pads sewn into them when I was, like, eight, and I’d rip those suckers out ASAP. Read More »