Thinking about a dad in a non-fatherly way is gross. On so many levels.

But at TV dad? Well, that’s a whole ‘nother story.

Everyone at one point has been watching a show and had a rare, but undeniable attraction to a TV Dad. An “I wish I could reach into the TV, knock his wife out and take him right there on the kitchen table” sorta moment. Or a, “If that man didn’t have spit up on his shoulder I would totally do him,” situation.

I know I’m not alone….

There are just some delicious TV dads. The kind of dads that make dad crushes OK (or not quite as gross and sick and wrong).

So, instead of privately fantasizing about all the Hot Dads I’d like to screw, I’ve compiled a list for your reading and viewing pleasure.

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Everywhere I go, I see couples of all shapes and sizes. I’m no Supermodel, but I’m not a total trainwreck either; I’m literate, have seen “Iron Man” at least six times, and shower almost everyday. So why isn’t anyone spooning with me?

After analyzing all of my failed attempts into coupledom, I realized it’s not me doing something wrong–it’s every guy I’ve ever been with: they never meet my standards. But what are my standards? Two words: have mercy!

…Okay, two more: Uncle Jesse.

That’s right, Uncle Jesse is my dream man. The Prince Charming to my Cinderella, the McDreamy to my Dr. Grey, the Richard Gere to, well, everybody’s mom.

John Stamos’ portrayal of Uncle Jesse on the sitcom “Full House” entered my life at the young and impressionable age of literally the day I was born. I mean, it’s kind of weird to say that he shot me into puberty before I was out of diapers, but since I could process emotions, I’ve known who the man for me is.

Why waste time on the frat guy with premature male-pattern baldness in Philosophy 101, or the dude with those cheese whiz-stained pants that used to live on my floor? I’m still a young sprite, and am in no rush to lower my standards, thankyouverymuch.

Here are the top 5 reasons why Uncle Jesse is the reason I’m still single: Read More »

You know how I know it’s gonna be a great day? Because the first thing I saw on the Internet this morning was a big, fat picture of the uterus of Stephanie Tanner, a.k.a Jodie Sweetin.

Didn’t you know uteruses of old T.G.I.F stars are good luck? It’s true.

Stephanie Tanner, who spent 9 unforgettable years causing shenanigans and making me jealous on Full House, (Tommy Page is so dreamy) with the same expression on her face, is now preggers! Not only that, but she sent her ultrasound pics to TMZ for what I can only guess is some hopeful media attention. Man, what some people will do….rather unnecessary if you ask me, but this is much better attention than her addiction to meth! Wee-hoo!

But Stephanie isn’t the only one with new developments (and in her case, developments also means “boob job”). Some updates on the fam:

Danny Tanner, a.k.a Bob Saget, recently had an HBO comedy special. Too bad it sucked. If you’re gonna do a whole bit on animal sex and incessantly curse, make it funny. Read More »