Dear Blackberry,

I have been sooooo busy; I totally haven’t been able to write to you until now! Like I’ve even been too busy for Benji and I totally love him. Not like I love you or Tink or myself. Or all of my mirrors. And my car. And my reflection in store windows. But I love him. Screw all of those other guys. This is for real. You know how I know it’s for real?

Because I get to go on tour with his band. He knows that music is my life. I bet he’ll want me to sing with them soon and then they’d be even more famouser! He totally gets me.

Did I tell you that he takes me to all of these made-up places? South Africa – you never heard of it either, right? Like West Africa is a real country, but South? Also, he can wear my hats. That means that when I play dress up with my doggies he’ll fit right in. It’s so totally perfect. Read More »

Is it just me, or does Hilary Duff never seem very happy?

Sure, she’s on the cover of magazines posing with her new abs proclaiming that she’s comfortable at 5’2” and 109 pounds (down almost 20 pounds from her reported weight of 130 in 2003), has been seen out and about since her split with ugly, ugly, ugly Joel Madden, and is giving interviews saying she’s “all set” with the ending of her first big love affair…but I just can’t help detecting weariness in between all those words.

First of all, at 5’2”, 109 is not the easiest weight to maintain. I’m that height, and the last time I weighed 109 was when I had just gotten out of surgery and spent three weeks puking from anesthesia side-effects. These days I’m almost spot on with the Duffster’s old weight, and even those numbers prove to be difficult when it’s 98 degrees and all I want is a giant cone from Cold Stone Creamery.

Second, it’s gotta be hard as hell to see your Ex cavorting around Hollywood with Nicole Richie, and even harder to know he got the chick pregnant. Read More »