Recappin\' The Hills...

So, I was gone for a few weeks and
missed out on a lot of Hills recapping.
I was so excited to get back into it…
until I actually watched tonight’s totally
sucky episode. Like most episodes of
The Hills, nothing really happened. In
fact, the entire show can be broken
down into two sentences:
Lauren and Audrina make up.
Spencer acts like a douche in
front of his Nana. Read More...

Next: Undergrad Boys or Grad Men?
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Plastic Surgery Hits a New Low (Literally)

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Did you hear? Designer Vaginas were blacklisted in Australia!?

Yeah, I can’t believe it either! I mean, I am all about designer everything – bags, clothes, shoes, etc. – but I didn’t know a designer va-jay was an option! (Note: I just did some investigating and found out that this does not refer to some sort of
Louis Vuitton hoo-hah, but rather surgery to make it look prettier. Damn.)

Yeah, so basically women have been seeking out uber expensive surgery ($10,000!) to make their vaginas look more appealing. Surprisingly (pause, NOT!), some doctors are getting a little worried about this. Not only is it ridiculous to want a better lookin’ vag (let’s be honest…they aren’t the prettiest things), but the surgery is not safe and can cause long term sensitivity issues.

Um, ladies, why you so crazy? What is the point of a pretty (and overpriced) vag if you can’t enjoy it?

I’m just sayin’…

Candy Dish: Take a Ride in a Giant Vadge?

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This lady invites you to ride around in her bike-vulva

Ever wanted to know the entire history of Britney Spears’ greatest ally?

The Guantanamo arraignments of some of 9/11’s masterminds start today. Learn more here.

Alanis is totally NOT bitter.

Teenagers are less slutty today than they were in 1997. Yay!

Nick Hogan really needs to stop whining and suck it up

Don’t upload your against-the-law-antics onto YouTube, douchebags!

Too bad his hotness is overshadowed by his idiotness

Ode to My Vagina

23114210.jpgHello down there!

You and me, we’ve had a pretty good run so far. I don’t think I thank you often enough, but you’ve been very good to me over the years. You’ve muscled through innumerable yeast infections. You’ve fought off bouts of HPV — twice — and came up clean both times. You tolerated a biopsy for cervical cancer without anesthesia when I was too young and dumb to realize I ought to go to a specialist for something like that.

I know that sometimes — okay, way too many times — I wasn’t nearly as good to you. I’ve introduced you to more partners than you probably would have cared to meet on your own. And some of them were really, really bad. But you put up with it anyway. Read More »

Do You Possess the Mighty Vagina Power?

vv.jpgCome one, come all. Revel in the power of the vagina! Fear the power of the penis!

This absolutely amazing YouTube video has been getting lots of attention, and not just because it’s a public access sex show hosted by Alexiss Tylor and her mother, (”bend her like a pretzal” and “hit her from the back” are not phrases a mother should hear) but because she has quite a unique, no-fuss way of explaining her theories on the frightening power of male genitalia and the affect men’s goods have on our “lonely, cold vaginas”.

Listen for Tylor’s deep insights, such as “If you really wanna earn your man, you need to learn your man.” Tylor also points out that many women need to have orgasms so badly, that they use their “Jack Rabbits” under the desk at work. Oops….my secret’s out!

The best part of the video is when Tylor repremands men who serve women “a side of penis” but won’t take them out to Long John Silver’s for some shrimp. What?!? No romantic rendez-vous at Long John Silver’s?!? You men make me sick.

If we learn anything from this video, it’s that “All penises are not created equal.” Oh, our forefathers would be so proud.

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