So the other day I woke up at 7:30 in the morning to have a little date with a speculum. That’s right, ladies! A gyno appointment! Vajayjay invasion before most people were sitting in their cubicles! Nothing says good morning like lubed-up metal and poking fingers.

The only thing that was worse than realizing some lady in pink scrubs got more intimate with me than a dude has in months was realizing just how many months it’s been — and having to say it out loud. See, for us single gals, going for your annual pap is a big, giant reminder of your past transgressions…or lack thereof. Have you slept with too many losers? Haven’t slept with anyone since the last full moon? Were you so drunk you can’t really remember if you used a condom or not? And how about your pubes…when was the last time you shaved or waxed?

I mean, all of those questions and more are answered when a girl goes to the gyno, and the answers aren’t always awesome. For instance, I realized I’ve been without sexy time for enough months to basically compile a year, and when the doc asked me when me last sexual encounter was, I let out this weird half-laugh, half-moan and cut my celibacy in half. I was embarrassed to tell my gynecologist about my empty sex life! Who am I? Read More »

Remember kegals? They (who? I don’t know. Cosmo magazine, mostly) told us we really had to do them. Promised us it would make us healthier and stronger and make sex 10 times better. I don’t know about you, but I never really found the time to do them. They told us to do them while watching TV or even sitting at our desk doing homework, but seriously, who can remember such things? Not me.

Enter Luna Beads. All you need to do is insert a luna bead (or 2) into your vajayjay and let it do the work for you. According to this Fleshbot article, Luna Beads are “a ‘combined pleasure/fitness system for the circum vaginal and pelvic floor muscles.’ Translation: a really easy way to do Kegels—and one that will, ideally, feel pretty f*cking awesome while you work out.” Read More »

On a recent trip to my neighborhood drug store to make my bi-monthly hair dye purchase, I noticed among the usual options of Garnier and L’Oreal and Clairol a brand I had never seen before: Betty Beauty. I paused in my perusing to take a closer look and realized that Betty Beauty hair dye is intended not for the hair on your head but, in fact, the hair on your cho-cha.

Huh. Pube dye. Who knew?

As I was in a rush, I didn’t have time to read the packaging of this amazing product, but I made a mental note of the company’s site address so as to better educate myself on the cosmetic industry’s newest attempt to cash in on our general feeling of inadequacy in our natural state. And what bettybeauty.com tells me is that creator Nancy Jarecki got the idea while visiting a salon in Rome where the colorist-in-residence would provide her customers with a little package of the dye she used on their hair to color their short and curlies with in the comfort of their own homes. So impressed was Ms. Jarecki with this idea that when she got back to the States she teamed up with salon owner, a gynecologist, a toxicologist, and a hair dye manufacturer to create the Betty pubic hair dye collection.

Betty pube dye is available in black, auburn, blonde, brown, hot pink, and, for the modern bride, pale blue. (You know, something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue…yikes.) The company also produces Betty Charmcils, which are stencils that you can use in conjunction with razors or wax to form your pale blue pubic hair in to sexy shapes like bowties and peace symbols.

Huh. Pube stencils. Who knew? Read More »

Every day someone muses about how fast kids are growing up in today’s society; how sexually charged their lives are, how full of mixed messages.

“Kids don’t get to be kids anymore!” is what everyone seems to be saying, “They’re becoming inexperienced adults!”

I don’t usually buy all our hyper-sexualized tween hysteria (I’m pretty sure most of this stuff has been going on for decades—just without YouTube), but after coming across this story, I can’t help but wonder what the hell is going on.

According to sources, a 6-year-old boy was recently caught running a ‘sex club’ out of his elementary school in Melbourne, Australia.

The boy has recently been placed in counseling for allegedly urging another 6-year-old to “perform a sex act” and “expos[ing] himself in front of other students.”

It’s hard to tell if parents and school officials are blowing an innocent act of kindergarten rebellion out of proportion (as we are want to do these days), or if our culture has really and truly gone off the deep end in terms of sexual exposure. Read More »