It may not be mature, but making your ex jealous is just so gratifying. Especially when they cheated on you with some ugly tramp and tore out your heart, stomped on it, threw it in a blender and chugged it.

Ok, so I’m a little bitter. And nothing goes better with bitter than a little revenge. In the form of torture. That involves a tight black dress or a very public makeout sesh with a very good looking stranger.

We received an email this week from a reader who was just dumped by her douchbag (ex) boyfriend. So, in order to help her move on to bigger and better dudes we asked our writers to tell us their favorite methods for making their exes green with envy. Read on for the best tips and tricks that will bring anyone down.

Megan - Brown University: I’m definitely of the don’t get mad, get even, school of thought (not sure I should be proud of that…). Anyway, for Halloween one year, I went to a party at his place dressed to kill in a little black dress and sky-high heels (as a trophy wife, naturally), where I ignored him and danced with his roommate. It worked, my ex noticed…he squeaked (which may have been an attempt at speech), turned and ran, leaving me with the roommate and the ensuing awkwardness…

Julia - UC Berkeley: I took risque pictures (yes, there were clothes involved) with my best friend’s brother, then put them a place that I knew my ex would find them. I’m pretty sure he cried. Read More »

God, it feels good to be single again. I recently broke up with my boyfriend of two years, and I know that this move solidified my future as an old maid. I know I’ll never find a guy more perfect for me than my ex, and that I’ll probably die alone. But, damn, it feels good to be single.

When you’re single, it can be hard to sit back and watch your attached girlfriends in their romantic endeavors. They get flowers from their boyfriends; they always have a date to a party; they have someone to cuddle with in the morning. But they also don’t have the opportunities that you have as an independent woman.

My (ex)boyfriend and I had been doing the long-distance thing for a while. I am currently trying to find my career path, but I had to keep trying to get a job close to him. This eliminated a plethora of job opportunities for me. When you get ready to graduate college, you can move anywhere you want or take any job that’s offered to you.

The girls who are involved have to make their life decisions with their partner. True, they can opt for the long-distance thing, but that still makes moving much harder than it does for you, the single gal with no emotional baggage.

Since reemerging onto the singles scene, I’ve also been feeling less stressed. Personally, I’ve had a lot on my plate lately, and I felt like even the daily “goodnight” phone call was cutting into what little time I have to spend on everything else. It takes effort to make a relationship work. True, it’s great to have a boyfriend to vent to or to seek reassurance from, but when you are trying to balance jobs, school, extracurriculars, and other responsibilities, sometimes it’s nice to be able to focus on you without feeling selfish. Read More »

Remember last time? Yeah, I try to forget about it, too.

Flav starts the day by telling the girls that he wants them to star in a FOL 3 calendar. Oh, no.

Buckwild and Saaphyri enter - Flav brought them in because they are entrepreneurs. Buckwild, who, in her words, “dresses like a slot machine” has a clothing line coming out, Saaphyri is coming out with lip chap.

The girls will assist with the calendar and help him figure out who should go home. What that has to do with dressing like a ‘slot’ (heh) or making lip chap is beyond me.

The best picture gets the date. Flav wants to have a sexy calendar that’ll put Playboy out of business. Is Shy giving them posing pointers? Because she watches Tyra?

Seezinz calls a meeting so that everyone can get a solo shot. Hotlanta wants the August bikini shot. Prancer’s going to be the Easter bunny? And she’s doing July? NO, you can’t do every single month.

No one thinks that Shy is hot – neither do I. That would be because Shy reminds me of Eddie Murphy.

[For the record: there are no words to describe the monstrosity of the posing] Read More »

I don’t want to post another of those “F&%k Valentine’s Day” blogs, or the “Not to be all bitter, but F$%k Valentine’s Day” blogs. And yet here I am.

Here’s the thing about Valentine’s Day: It lasts for freaking ever. It’s all, “Have a Happy Valentine’s Day!” and, “How’s your Valentine’s Day going?” and then, “Can you believe there are only 364 days until Valentine’s Day rolls around again?” And the cycle continues.

And then there’s Valentine’s Day At Work. It’s the same for everyone. There’s always:

-The sad single girl who clearly spent all night making pink cupcakes for the staff which no one eats.
-The annoying work couple who crack little post-coital jokes February 15th that make you want to puke or get married over the Internet.
-The boss who schedules you to work until 11pm Valentine’s Day evening because she “assumed you would be free…”

How to tastefully deal with Valentine’s Day? It’s a toughie. Some people have those “Anti- Valentine’s Day” parties, but to work these either need to be flooded with movie stars or take place in the Village. Otherwise they can be reminiscent of those “Anti-Prom” parties you and your Literary Club friends had junior year of high school. Read More »

It’s almost Valentine’s Day and you’re in love. Or maybe you’re just in “lurve” (love without the O…a precursor to the big 4 letter proclamation. I fall in lurve like twice a day).

Maybe, you’ve just got a giant heart and enjoy Valentine’s Day even though you’re single.

Maybe you’re one of those permanent happy people who confuse me.

In any case, this holiday does not fill you with dread. It does not fill you with sadness or the constant need to subdue your emotions with sugar.

It’s a nice day. A pretty day. A teddy bear holding a chocolate heart kind of day (…too much?).

It’s the day for this type of mix. Read More »

Valentines Day usually includes a whole lotta red. But why not make it a little Green this year? If you’re still looking for the perfect gift idea or V-Day plan – or if your original plan upped your Carbon Footprint by like 10 tons – try these earth friendly ideas on for size.

Send an Earth Friendly Card: One billion cards are sent every Valentines Day. Lay those puppies down side by side and you could circle the earth five times! Instead of heading to your local Hallmark and taking part in the clearing of unnecessary trees, why not send a card on recycled paper? Or, better yet, a plantable card; when V-Day is long past, your special someone can just pop that card in the ground and watch your love blossom. (That was just too easy.) Read More »

Valentine’s Day. Blah, blah, blah. I really have nothing to say about this holiday other than I’m sure certain people love it. Being stricken with the flu for three days does nothing to brighten a girl’s demeanor, and V-Day has never been high on my list of days to get excited about.

I don’t own a card store. I’ve never dated anyone who’d be pulling diamonds out of his pocket, and it’s always been strange to me that we need certain days to prove we love one another.

Sorry about being a screwup for 364 days, honey. Here’s some chocolates and a bear. Let’s make up.

ANYway, all annoyance aside, I’m aware that there are other opinions about February 14th. Some people love this day. Seriously. Can’t get enough. And other people…?

Well, they use it as an excuse to lie on their bed, stare at the ceiling, eat a box of chocolates all themselves, and go all melancholy about why they have no one.

If you’re one of these, have I got the mix for you.

Below is a list of songs guaranteed to help those tears, and dear god whys?!, flow. Read More »

It’s a universal truth: Valentine’s Day can suck, even if you’re not alone. Make sure it doesn’t by using one of these five sweet date ideas. Whether you hang out with your GF, BF, or BFF on V-Day, it’s still possible to have a ton of fun with a creative date.

1. A picnic. If you live in the Southwest, a traditional outdoor meal might actually be possible. Those of us who shack up in chillier climates don’t have to abandon the idea of a fun picnic, though. Take your date, make a few sandwiches, then grab a blanket and head to the nearest academic building. Set up shop in one of its more isolated areas, unwrap your food, and—presto!—picnic. Read More »