Loading ...Oh Living Lohan, I can’t believe our brief but tumultuous relationship is coming to an end (or a pause, you see, I’m not quite sure you’ve been renewed for a second season), but whatever, we’ve had our highs, our lows and our utterly brain numbing uneventful-s. I cherish our relationship so much, in fact, that I have elected to watch your season finale as opposed to THE PREMIER of Shark Week. I think this speaks volumes about my level of commitment to you. But I can’t just let this–us–end, without discussing just how much you and I both have grown, as a blogger, and as a, um, TV show (embarrassing level of attachment much?) Dina, throughout our relationship I’ve witnessed the true beauty/sheer terrifyingness of your momma lioness schtick. I’ve seen you go after those hoping to capitalize on your innocent 14 year old daughter. I’ve seen you thrust the aforementioned youth into the open arms of said users. But in the end, I know you swear up and down that both of your daughters are hard workers (hospitalizations for “exhaustion” and temper tantrums aside). This week, you showed me how well you fulfill your role as Momager by springing upon Ali a last minute audition. I’m not sure how I feel about any movie that uses the name “Harry Potter JR” (for realz) for a character. But you allowed your youngest girl to exercise her independence this week! A MAJOR step for a recovering (ish) stage mom. I know you voiced your concern over whether she’ll be judged for her natural abilities or her lineage. Nonetheless, you allowed Ali to go all by herself, to go meet the director of the film she’s auditioning for. You successfully balance a life of partying with you eldest, raising your youngest, publicizing your private life for profit, and maintaining intricate (to say the least) hair, nails, and bronzer. I raise my (large) glass (of Sutter Home) to you Dina! Read More »
So, I’m tired this morning. All that Democrat bashing
and baby hair licking at the Republican National Convention last night kept me up late. Since I can’t
get productive until this Venti Pumpkin Spice Latte
kicks in (yes, they are back!), I decided to peruse
the interwebs for awhile. And boy did I find a gem.
Living Lohan Ep 9: Season Finale
Icing on the Cake: Jewelry Trends, Summer 2008
Accessories are a great way to complete an outfit and add a little zest to your look. This year we see many old trends re-emerging, a few newbies and a few twists on those oldies but goodies.
Big jewelry continues to be a major trend, so one key tip is that if you’re gonna go big on the accessories, you need to go minimally on the clothes so you don’t end up looking like a walking Vegas Strip.
Nature is a main theme throughout jewelry pieces for the summer; you’ll see flowers, leaves and moons & stars in everything from pendants to rings and especially in drop earrings, so go ahead and get in touch with nature.
One of the “must have” pieces of the season is the not-so-subtle medallion. Medallions and pendants are back, as designers turn to the seventies and eighties for inspiration. A sub-division of this trend is another one; zodiac pendants. Say good-bye to wearing your name or initials on your neck, showing off your star sign in silver, gold or even diamonds is the way to go. Read More »
Living Lohan, Ep 1: Mommy Will Fix it
I have been eagerly anticipating the premier of the Lohan reality show since Perez announced it a few months ago. Monday’s premier more than exceeded my expectations. I’m sorry about the delay, but I wanted to be absolutely sure that I had absorbed all that I could from this trainwreck collision of Kardashiantics, Real World-esque shouting matches and Girls Next Door intelligence. The show, in a word, is brilliant. In two words, it is brilliantly horrible. Enjoy.
The show begins with a montage of sexy photos all over the house, Dina explains how nothing is more important to her than family (except for press/publicity) as she breaks up a typical sibling playfight between Aliana (Ali) 14, and Dakota (Cody) 11, showcasing how normal they are.
In the kitchen, Dina and her assistant Alexis lament the difficulties of being placed on hold to get out of Jury duty (obviously Dina has other incredibly important things to do). They immediately dive into a harrowing tabloid scanning sesh. Dina explains how sad it is that every morning the poor thing has to go through every single tabloid to see if she’s in it (oh yeah…or any of her kids/clients). Cody, who I am completely in love with, interrupts as the voice of reason, wondering why his Mommadukes has to read the tabloids. She can’t explain. I can’t either, Cody. Read More »
5 Reasons Why You Need To See Showgirls (the Edited for TV Version)
So the other night while I was unpacking everything I own from a multitude of boxes, I flipped on the TV to help get me through the you- just- moved- into- a- new- apartment stress bubble that was slowly taking over my body. The first channel that popped up was VH1, and what was the movie they were featuring?
Now, I’ve seen bits of this masterpiece in tackiness before, but I had never sat through the whole thing — the whole edited for TV version, no less. Most people probably think watching an NC17 film on cable is lame, but let me tell you, friends, Showgirls only gets better with censorship.
Here are 5 Reasons Why You Need To See Showgirls (the Edited for TV Version)
5) Elizabeth Berkley’s Wardrobe
She may want you to take her seriously today on some boring Bravo dance show, but back in 1995, Berkley was being dressed like a whore in every single scene in Showgirls. Even when she wasn’t running around in thongs and dancing crop tops, the girl just couldn’t catch a break from the wardrobe department. Everything she wears in this film makes her look like a blind prostitute who wears baby clothes. Seriously. If you played a drinking game where everyone took a shot every time Berkley wore something that showed her stomach or asscheeks, you’d be wasted after 10 minutes. Read More »
The Hills: Lauren Really Needs to Stop With That Braid Thingy/The Season Finale!
Being that I have a giant obsession with The Hills, I have forced a lot of my friends to watch it over the years. Obviously, they had no choice if they happened to be anywhere near my house on a Monday night; but it also happens to be the only thing I talk about/reference, so most of my friends felt it necessary to watch in order to understand me when I refer to their new bangs as totally Pratt-Tastic. Or if I refer to someone’s lame ass BF as a Poor (wo)Man’s Justin Bobby.
But just because they watch it doesn’t mean they love it like I do. In fact, as last nights season finale was coming to a dramatic close, I received this text from a friend:
“The Hills is the suckiest sucky show ever. I want to shove forks into my eyes.”
Clearly, this friend doesn’t see the show for the super fantastic hot mess that it really is. And that makes me sad. Read More »
The Hills: Where Sweet Jobs for Pretty People With No Skills Abound
Yesterday was one of the best Mondays I have had in a long time. I got some great personal news, it was Cinco De Mayo (so I celebrated that great news with some tequila shots) and Gossip Girl was so. freaking. good. And then The Hills came on, and my day took a turn for the worse.
I don’t know if it was the fact that everything was just so great all day or that maybe I am just finally catching on to what everyone else has been saying (that nothing ever really happens on this damn show), but I just didn’t have love for The Hills last night. Lauren turned into an uber snooty bitch and Lo, my favorite of all reality show stars, was the ring leader of bitchiness. Read More »
Rock of Love’s Heather Speaks Out!
Who didn’t love Heather from Rock of Love?
The stripper turned business woman took some time out of her insane schedule to talk to us at College Candy and had some interesting things to say about life, her plans for the future, and finding a house.
The insanity surrounding the show can break some (Has Rodeo really lost her mind? Heather won’t say…) but this girl seems to have her head on straight on how to fully utilize her reality fame. Here’s what the classiest broad on TV had to say:
College Candy: So what are you doing today?
Heather: Well right now I’m about to take a shower, then I have a big meeting with VH1. I’m meeting up with Brooke Hogan afterwards and she and I are going house shopping in LA together.
CC: Brooke Hogan?? How did you two hookup?
H: Brooke and I met at the Reality Show awards and totally hit it off. She’s a great girl and someone I really enjoy spending time with. She’s looking for a place too.
CC: That’s a whole lot of blonde; any chance it’ll be filmed?
H: I can’t discuss what I’m doing in terms of TV. It’s all very hush hush, but the meeting today with VH1 is to talk about what I’m doing next with them. People all over the internet want to know what’s going on with me so I’m trying to get something going so people can see.
CC: Are you really moving in with Chris Crocker?
H: No, I just threw that out there because I thought it would be funny idea. I was never really that serious about it but the press just ate it up and ran with it. Read More »
Carrot Top is Jacked and Frightening
My roommate is scared shitless by Carrot Top.
She won’t look at pictures of him, runs from the room if he happens to come on TV, and refuses to even say his name.
She won’t explain her fear, just whisperes that “him and a ventriloquist doll are two the scariest things you could ever see at the foot of your bed in the middle of the night.”
While my phobia is not as rampart as hers, I completely understand the fear.
The dude was weird looking even before he started on the ‘roids, but now that he’s jacked, he barely resembles a human.
Something is seriously wrong with his face, but it’s hard to tell what.
Did he get weird plastic surgery? Did the steroids melt his features a little?
Is he transitioning into a giant, muscular woman?
I hear he’s big in Vegas, which can only mean one of two things; A) people who are drunk and have lost all their money to slot machines go see him in an attempt to put themselves out of their misery, or B) they like freaks. Read More »
Alcohol keeps hasslin’ the Hoff
David, David, David.
Remember when you were on the coolest show on television? Remember when you got to see tits and ass and call it work? Remember when you had a freaking talking car???
And now what? You’re in Vegas, acting in The Producers (which is funny because, David…you’re sort of a horrible actor) and…apparently, getting drunk and letting your teenage daughters tape you.
In this tape, which has recently been blasted all over the airwaves, you don’t have a shirt on (gross, dude), are eating a hamburger like a two-year-old kid, and slurring everything you say. One of your daughters asks you why you keep drinking, and you sadly moan “Cause I’m lonely. I have trouble in my life.” Trouble like a divorce. Trouble like an ex-wife who says you knocked her around. Trouble like…letting your daughters watch you eat a hamburger without your shirt on. Read More »
