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Grandmas. It’s hard to figure out what they want for their birthdays. Do they want slippers? Humidifiers? Canes? Or maybe, actually, they want something a little racier.
Whether she wanted it or not, this Grandma got something rather unusual for her b-day.
See more funny videos at CollegeHumor
When I am not out slutting it up, I tend to spend my evenings alone watching TV, reading books and – to relieve a little stress – playing out some super sexy scenarios in my head. I crawl into bed, get under the covers with my favorite toy and imagine myself in the place I’d rather be; the man I’d rather be with.
I find sexual fantasies to be both extremely liberating and enlightening. By opening myself up to any possibility – mostly things I would never do in the flesh – I learn a lot about myself and what turns me on. I can act out entire scenarios in my head and prepare myself for new situations that may arise sometime down the road. And, of course, I get to do something a little naughty with people I would never have the opportunity to be with in real life.
Like the dad of the kids I babysit for. I know that fantasy is as cliché as they come, but there is something so sexy and forbidden about that bond between babysitter and dad. He is sexy, smart, funny, and adorable with his kids. I know it’s so wrong, but I can’t help but wonder what it would be like to have him drive me home, kiss me, then take advantage of me in the back of his Mercedes. Read More »
The biggest secret I ever discovered was sex. I was twelve years old when I started to wise up to my body changing, and fourteen when I first properly thought about the s-word.
Growing up, my knowledge on the classroom-rumoured Facts Of Life were always rather naïve; my Barbie and Ken dolls sometimes tried giving it a shot, but I could never stretch my imagination beyond yanking the trousers down/skirt up and wearing a puzzled expression as I placed one on top of the other and wondered if they were really enjoying themselves as much as the people on my mum and dad’s fifteen-rated (that’s R-rated in America) movies seemed to be.
It was only when my hormones began pumping that I finally began noticing boys in my school – one in particular – and let my mind drift off into the dangerous territory of wandering hands and possible intimacy. As it turned out, my first boyfriend was not the high school crush I had harboured for so long. However, it was new, it was exciting, and most importantly it was….actually quite a good-looking piece of apparatus. If this was The Thing that I was constantly told by parents, teachers and school nurses to stay away from, I’m afraid to say I was hooked. Read More »
I mean, I’ve heard of being afraid of intimacy before, but this guy takes it to a whole new level. This guy built a robot girlfriend.That’s right, a robot girlfriend. Dude was a 33-year-old virgin until he met (read: MADE) Alice, his robot girlfriend who includes a chatbox to talk through and a teledildonic device, which, I assure you, is exactly what it sounds like.
I’m sorry, but this is straight out of a Philip K. Dick novel. I find it really frightening that there are actual people who are so emotionally and sexually disfunctional that they need to build robots to have relationships with. Read More »
Saying too much about this commercial will give away the ending, but let’s just say those funny people in the UK know a thing or two about women.
And our needs.
Check out the hilarity that probably could never run in the US–because we’re stuffy and afraid of…well, reality.
• Rare photos of Ms. Golightly are published 15 years after her death.
• So working out doesn’t get you off? It does now thanks to the Thigh-brator.
• Two Celebs, One Dress… Who wears it better?
• Johnny Depp is on the cover of the Rolling Stone.
• Avril Lavigne is a Plagiarist.
• ‘Love is a Birthday Party.’
• Madonna spends 10k a month on water.
Sometimes you need a little something like the holidays to give you an excuse to really…excel in the bedroom.
For those of you who have never delved into the whole sex toy thing don’t be alarmed. While the entire concept may seem seedy, it doesn’t have to be!This Christmas (or Hanukkah or Kwanzaa…) take the plunge into the world of adult toys. Don’t know where to start? Allow us to guide the way:
Boditalks - $69.00 (hehe…)
The slogan here is “getting off while you’re on”. And it’s simple. Boditalks is simply a vibrator that is activated by the use of your cell phone and it only turns off once the call is ended.
Do you know how useful this would have been when I was in a long distance relationship? For the college girls who are, you owe this to yourself!
Sex Night Planner - $12.00
Maybe vibrators are a little too much for you. Or maybe you don’t need one (lucky). In that case, make it fun and set up how you want things and when with a Sex Night Planner. Similar to Magnetic Poetry, this planner will tell your guys all the very important specifics of what you want.
I’m thinking this will go over well with the compulsive English major types, no? Read More »
• If your ringtone is going to be an orgasm (ugh, totally lame), turn it off before you are in the midst of a courtroom. Manners, people! (news.com.au)
• London residents panic over chemical spill…I mean, 5-alarm chili! Literally. (timesonline.co.uk)
• Alabama woman: “My motto has been they are going to have to pry this vibrator from my cold, dead hand. I refuse to give up.” Haven’t we all thought that at some point? (TBO.com)
• Father makes 6 year old son chug a beer. Hilarity does not ensue. (tbo.com)
• An Alabama couple celebrates their 80th wedding anniversary. “After all these years,” he said, “I still enjoy being with her.” Does this give us hope or does it make us morbidly depressed? I’m going with depressed. (sfgate.com)
• Ditzy cheerleader bloopers are always a great way to wake up in the morning. (COED Magazine)
• Men tend to enjoy breasts. And according to the (female) author…we shouldn’t blame them (or show them). (Yahoo!)
• What if Apple never existed? What would hipsters identify themselves by (technologically speaking, of course)? (Yahoo!)
• Blast From the Past: On her 2006 tour, Amy Winehouse needed beer, wine, vodka, pizza…and sober roadies (to carry her to bed). (Smoking Gun)
• All I can picture is a team of high school football players high fiving the kid involved in this. Also, this. (Idahostatesman.com)
• Wait, so this weed was found underwater and it’s still worth over a million dollars? Lucky fisherman. (citizen.co.za)
There are a lot of ailments I would consider to be terribly tragic. Today, I have added anorgasmia to the list.The inability to have an orgasm sounds like one of the worst things ever.
Orgasms are tension and stress relievers, sleep and pain aides and appetite suppressants. Basically, they are the human body’s way of saying everything sucks and this is what I’m going to give you to fix it… pure ecstasy.
Uh, thanks Mother Nature!
Just like all other ailments, there are many types of anorgasmia:
• Primary: Never having achieved an orgasm
• Secondary: Had one before, now the magic is gone
• Absolute: Tried every trick in the book and nothing works
Like the good ole days where doctors would bring a woman to orgasm to treat hysteria, doctors are now prescribing the vibrator as treatment for anorgasmia. I’d like to see that on my doctor’s prescription pad.
Not that I want to be an-orgasmic, but hell, trying to get my shoddy insurance to cover my latest sex toy could be a fun time. Read More »
