Well, the good part about this week is that banks all around the world did not explode, some kind of bailout plan was passed (though don’t ask us to decode it), Sarah Palin and Joe Biden managed to be civil and keep their mouths from f*ckng up at their debate (plus, a new favorite catch phrase was born!), Jeremy Piven’s hotness did not wane, weed suddenly became good for us, and we found out the identity of the REAL Joe Six Pack.

Let’s see, what else happened that wasn’t completely sh*tty…?

Oh, right. We let our inner Halloween bitterness out and felt much better for it, uncovered the horrible undertones to Allstate’s advertising campagin, and learned how to love and protect our awesome boobs.

Unfortunately, there were some not-so-great things that occured this week — and we’re not talking about our realization that we hadn’t blended our make-up one morning. Our birth control flipped the crap out, we realized our college dining halls were nothing compared to these, and the fun of Elementary School seems so, so far away.

Whether your glass is currently nice and half full or running on empty, take solace in the fact that the weekend has arrived to provide us cold beers, fresh-baked cookies, and HBO’s True Blood (What? You don’t watch this show?! Dude…find a way).

Ok, maybe not good, but according to a study by Beckley Foundation’s Global Cannabis Commission (I know! How do I get a job there?!), weed isn’t nearly as dangerous as all those Boones Farms you’ve been chugging.

“Historically there have only been two deaths worldwide attributed to cannabis, whereas alcohol and tobacco together are responsible for an estimated 150,000 deaths per annum in the UK alone.”

In fact, the only thing that makes pot a dangerous drug stems (haha, stems) from the fact that it isn’t legal: the crime that surrounds it, all that crazy sh*t people are lacing it with these days, etc. By making pot legal, people would be able to regulate it and keep it safe.

Not to mention stimulate the economy and create more jobs: people to grow it, people to sell it, people to regulate it, people to supply all the stoned kids with enough Cheez Its and Twinkies to get through the day…

Seriously, marijuana could keep this country from a depression! (And if it doesn’t, it could make the depression more bearable…or hilarious!)

Down with that dangerous alcohol!
Bring on the cannabis!

Wal-Mart stabs the Spears’ in the back!

Mandy Moore runs to take care of DJ AM

This chick HATES Dane Cook

She’d rather date a 20-year-old and throw peace signs

Kaite Holmes uncensored

Oh J. Piven…we forever pledge our love

Would you get that back fat sucked off?

Da Govanator loved Mary Jane

George Michael…just say no to bathroom stalls!

Did Ashley FIRE Mary-Kate?

Buff up with Brad

Now that you’re in college, people are no doubt bombarding you with their own lists of things you just HAVE to have to survive in the Narnia they call dorm-land. Some people are right on the mark with their suggestions, while grandma is entirely mistaken with her devotion to the fly swatter. Take whatever tips you want, but here are some items that definitely did save my life in college.

1. A TAPESTRY
I know it sounds silly, but when my boyfriend and I needed privacy in my bunk, that little tapestry I’d brought was such a life saver. We just hung it up over some yarn and had our own little curtain for the bed. And then we made out in between talks of our future — that never happened — in privacy.

2. BROWNIE MIX
Smoking weed at college, should you be so illegally inclined, is a little harder than it should be. Sure, sure, it’s easy enough outside of the dorms. But when you’re in the dorms, it can be a pain in the butt. From dismantling fire alarms to trying to carefully smoke out the window while lighting incense, it’s hardly worth it. In fact, one of my besties got arrested for it her freshman year!

Instead, just learn to bake. If you need your weed fix, throw it in a brownie mix and surprise your hallmates with something awesome…and you’ll totally get away with it, too. Read More »

Once, when I in 6th grade and still innocent, I tried a piece of a pot brownie that a friend had stolen from her big brother. Upon swallowing, I became convinced I was high and sat down on the floor, steadying myself with my hands because “the world was spinning out of control.”

Yes, I was lame, but I was 12 and lived in suburbia. I was allowed.

But this guy…well…he really doesn’t have any excuse. Except maybe that he’s a douchebag.