That guy you brought home last night? Let’s just say he wasn’t lookin’ so good this morning. Not only do you not want to have to experience that face again, but the thought of marching this turd past your roommates is making your stomach churn (or is that the whiskey?).

Well, you don’t have to. Not with The Ugly Bag. Just throw that sh*t over his head and you are home free. And at a measly $1.85 you are gonna wanna stock up. You know… Welcome Week is coming.

Mmmm shots. I love em. I love SoCo and Lime. I love Lemon Drops. I love whiskey. I even, sometimes, love Tequila. They burn when they go down, but they feel oh-so-good for the rest of the night. Not to mention the fact that they make me feel sexier, totally improve my dance moves (right?) and are just a fabulous way to bond with rando’s at the bar.

And then…the morning sets in.
Hellooooo hangover.

What the hell? Why create something so great that turns into something so…painful? If only there were shots out there that would be totally delicious and wonderful but not cause my room to spin/head to pound/body to crave bacon the next morning.

Good news!
I know you won’t believe me when I tell you this, but there are! Just read on, little ladies. Read More »

Nothing is better than summertime. The beach, sundresses, flip-flops, parties on the patio…While all enjoyable in their own right, they become even more serendipitous when accompanied by a fabulously frozen/sweet/refreshing summer treat.

Sure if you’re Kid Rock, drinking Whiskey by the bottle (And of course, singing Sweet Home Alabama…All. Summer. Long.) would be your summer standard. But for those of us who don’t get into fist fights at The Waffle House, treats can bring us back to the sweet nostalgia of chasing the ice-cream truck (Mickey-Mouse on a Popsicle stick anyone?). Nothing is better than that!

From trendy to old school, we here at College Candy put together our list of favorite summer treats. So grab a chaise lounge, some sunscreen, relax and dig in!

Slurpees from 7-11. While Slurpee’s will always remind me of high school (I grew up in Suburbia and we spent many-a-Saturday driving between 7-11’s… Clearly, I was no Kelly Kapowski), there is just something so yummy and refreshing about sipping on a slurpee. (Note: Best enjoyed in the parking lot watching the regular creepy guys going in to buy porn)

The Freezer Pop. Long before we had our licenses, we would make our own freezer pops (before running in the sprinklers or getting muddy on the Slip’N’Slide)
How To: Take an ice cube tray (or this fancy schmancy “freezer pop maker”) and fill it with a beverage of your choice- (Lemonade, OJ, Coke) cut popsicle sticks in half and insert them in the liquid. Stick them in the freezer and enjoy! (Don’t forget your Flintstones vitamin!) Read More »

Skies are blue, trees are blooming, and temperatures are rising, which can only mean one thing – it’s time to take your godd*mn pants off.

My roommate and I have been experimenting with the pants-free lifestyle for many months now. It began in January when one early Friday evening we were sitting on the couch watching Scrubs reruns, harnessing our chi for a night out on the town.

Me: I don’t wanna wear pants tonight, dude.
My roommate: Yeah man, f*ck pants.

Half an hour later, we emerged from our respective bedrooms, me in a tank top and some sort of shorts/panties half-breed, her in what can best be described as beach loungewear. We threw on our jackets and headed out to the club, where we proceeded to drink whiskey and diets and shake what our mammas gave us until we were so pleasantly exhausted and sweaty we could barely stand any longer and had to call it a night.

The point of this little anecdote? By choosing to forego pants, my roommate and I ensured that we would have a fun evneing. If we had been so foolish as to wear, say, skinny jeans or perhaps high-waisted wide-leg trousers or some other wintry-style clothing garment out that evening, there’s no way we could have enjoyed ourselves to the degree we did. We would have felt restricted and gotten sweaty and would have never stayed until the late-night DJ came on and started busting out old-school James Brown jams. Instead of having a glorious evening, we would have had a low-key, mediocre evening, because pants ruin fun. Period. Read More »

Last time: we found out that Daisy is a stripper and Jessica went home.

Morning: everyone is back at the house quietly eating breakfast. Destiney isn’t wearing make up and she looks fantastic without it. Big John comes in with three buckets for them to clean the house because someone they know is coming. Daisy is cleaning in a half shirt. Of course she is.

Doorbell rings and it’s parent time. Ambre’s dad is the first to arrive and they hug like she’s coming home from war. Bret got his hair blown out and flat ironed and he desperately needs a bandana. At least a real parent showed up for her this time.

Destiney’s parents come. She’s wearing a pink hat but no make up so I’ll forgive the stupid hat.

Daisy’s been on her own since she was 15 so instead of parents, Stephanie, Daisy’s ex-boyfriend’s sister, shows up for her. Are you kidding? Bret is clearly not thrilled. Read More »

This playlist could be appropriately titled any of the following. Please choose according to your “situation”:

“I’m About to Regret This, Aren’t I?”
OR
“No. I Don’t Want Breakfast, I Just Want Sex.”

1. Stronger Than Me — Amy Winehouse
2. In Tha Mood – Esthero
3. Come Here Boy — Imogen Heap
4. Like A Boy – Ciara
5. Talk Show Host – Radiohead
6. Back it up, boys – Peaches (yes, it’s true, Peaches could have her own sex playlist)
7. Brown Skin – India Arie
8. Put The Needle On It – Danni Minogue (the HOTTER Minogue sister.)
9. Maybe — Toni Braxton
10. Freak Like Me – Adina Howard (yes it’s old school and still. so. great)
11. My Place – Tweet
12. There’s A Place In The Whiskey — Gretchen Wilson
13. Erotica – Madonna. (I mean, Obviously)

[Any songs you would add to this list?? Let us know! We’re always dying for a bad decision making soundtrack…]

I do not think I’m an alcoholic. I do, however, feel like I’ve racked myself up some pretty reliable points for drinking frequently, and usually for free, in New York City.

I’m in a band. And all of my friends are in bands. You know what that means? It means shows…which means drinks. And my friends who aren‘t musicians, who work in offices, tend to like to buy me rounds at Happy Hour time–which usually precedes one of those aforementioned shows.

These factors combined with my sometimes modeling and myopenbar.com lead to a steady intake of alcohol on my part. And REALLY, I am okay with this.

However, I woke up today feeling especially hung over. My stomach felt like I imagine it would if it were working diligently to digest batteries. My makeup was caked across my pillowcase and the volume of god knows what kind of dirt under my nails made me afraid to look in the mirror. It was just another, typical night out on the town for me last night. Wine and beer and whiskey and martinis. Lost cash. Expensive cab rides. Shameful drunk snacking back at my apartment and finally the relief of passing out, but ONLY after an embarrassing drunk dial and even more embarrassing emotional drunk IM.

I woke up this morning and I challenged myself out loud to my roommate.

“You know what, dude? I’m gonna take the next week off from drinking.”

She laughed. Read More »

VH1 was smart – rather than being trounced by the Super Bowl in the ratings (because I would have been the only one watching Rock Of Love), they made me wait a week so that I could properly heal from the blow of losing Trantastique.

…And to learn the surprising news that Daisy has probably slept with Bret. And by surprising I mean like the total opposite of surprising.

I can’t believe that she waited a whole three days.

Anyway, the house rumor that starts Episode Four is that Daisy and Bret did IT. I don’t see why everyone’s making such a big deal about it since she’s probably not going to be the only one who sleeps with Bret before this mess is all over. I laugh at my Ice Princess Kristy Joe’s camera-emphatic “Skank!” and applaud Aubry’s stretch Escalade confrontation.

This week’s challenge: the girls will be split into two teams to build a motorcycle. The lead mechanic wins a solo date, the other team members get a group date and the losing team’s head mechanic has to clean Bret’s bike with a toothbrush. Whiskey voiced Peyton is excited. Yawn. I’m not. Seriously, I’m so close to done with these annoying chicks, except for Inna, because I want to get drunk with her, and Kristy Joe, because I just like her for no good reason. Read More »