Tonight at sundown Jews all over the world will begin celebrating one of our holiest of holidays: Rosh Hashanah (the Jewish New Year). Unlike the traditional American New Year where we make resolutions for the upcoming year, this 2 day holiday is spent asking for forgiveness for all the mistakes we made over the past year.

I just don’t know if 2 days is enough for me.

Being that I have such a public forum at my disposal, I thought I would go the extra mile this year and clear my slate of sins before I even step foot into synagogue this evening. So, without further adieu, here are my apologies. Please forgive:

- I am sorry for doubting the Wolverines and their ability to have a KILLER comeback in a football game.

- I am sorry that I called that girl a bitch in the bathroom because she refused to pass me toilet paper under the stall.

- I am sorry for all those times I cut people off while driving; I thought I had more important places to be than them, but I now realize that getting home in time for Oprah is really not important at all (mostly because I have DVR). Read More »

Remember your senior year of high school? Touring colleges, trying not to get your hopes up. Retaking the SAT for the tenth time, wondering if you’d get a better score with the ACT. The love/hate relationship with collegeboard.com, and endless trips to the college counselor.

Then, THE WAIT. And running to the mail box every day. Staring at your application status page - pressing F5 over and over (refresh, refresh, refresh!). Until, one day that magical word appears: admitted.

Fast forward to September.
The move-in is over (your mom only broke down once, thank goodness). The awkward, “Hi, I’m going to be living in close quarters!” moment is over with your roomie(s) and classes have begun.

And an unsettling feeling set in. This place isn’t what you thought it would be. You try to love it - really you do - but it isn’t the right fit and you can’t seem to get into a groove. You know you could transfer but *argh!* you thought you were set! That the application insanity was done for good! What do you do? Read More »

Last week’s episode of Last Comic Standing was unremarkable at best. There were a few standouts, but on the whole, things were off to a piss poor start. Tonight’s episode made up for the last week’s lackluster laughs ten-fold.

Bill Bellamy and British assistant host Fearne headed to Los Angeles and Houston to scout for top talent. Both cities were teeming with stellar comedians, especially of the fairer sex.

Three ladies made it to the semi-finals including Andi Smith, a funny lady with a funnier accent. (Her MySpace page says she’s from a small town in Wisconsin though, so the jokes on me.) She’s a working comedian with a lot miles on her and tonight she took the Last Comic Standing camera crew on a tour of her motel room. Let’s just say I’ve seen more habitable fraternity house bathrooms.

Other standouts tonight were Erin Foley, who did an fantastic set on the oddities that can be seen driving through Mississippi and the over-eager employees in the Wachovia commercials. Read More »