I’ve never dated a boy with money. Never been in a relationship where I could sit back and let the guy pay for dinner without feeling guilty that he was gonna have to skip breakfast the next day.

This could be because I’ve mostly found myself surrounded by artists and musicians and ski bums, none of whom were ever financially focused. That’s fine. I’m an independent chick. I can pay my own way. But every once in a while I think how nice it would be if I was swept off my feet by some rich, handsome movie star would could not only buy me dinner at a fancy restaurant, but treat everyone else in the place and laugh off the bill.

A girl can dream, can’t she?

She can. But if she ever gets tired of dreaming, she can actually do something about it.

Sugardaddyforme.com is a new dating site that caters to young, beautiful women who dream of being pampered, and the “older gentlemen” who want to provide the pampering.

“Ladies!” screams the site, “Are you an attractive, young woman? Struggling in the early part of your career? An aspiring actress? Would you like to have a man be a provider for you? Do you just love to be taken care of and treated like a princess? You will make the perfect Sugar Babe!”

“Gentlemen!” it goes on to yell, “have you reached a place in your life where you have attained substantial success? Are you a very busy executive or a businessman with very little time? Are you a caring individual who loves and wants to share the finer things in life? Whether you want to have an ExtraMarital Affair or just love to pamper a special someone, you are at the right place!”

What a fantastic website! Not only does it put an unhealthy amount of importance on material wealth, but it also advocates “ExtraMarital” (which is apparently one word now) affairs! Wow. Any dating site that starts out with those values is bound to provide a rewarding, healthy relationship!

Their philosophy! (exclamation point all theirs) goes on to explain that the website was born from a belief that “goes back to the cave ages - Men want the younger and more attractive women. And, women, want the man with the bigger and more sheltered cave.” (I’m no English teacher, but can anyone else spot the grammatical oddities in those sentences?) I’d love to see the research the developers of Sugardaddyforme.com did on the mating habits of males and females in the “cave ages”. I’m sure it was vast and extensive, just like their opinions on the modern psyche.

There’s an allure to having some dude provide for you (I mean, I’d sure like to stop eating sandwiches every night that include questionable lunchmeat), but the actuality of that situation can never be as good as it seems. When you allow someone to control your monetary concerns, you’re really allowing them to control your life. Sure he’ll pay for your college tuition, but what do you have to do for him in return? And what happens if you refuse? Are nice clothes and a hot new car really worth handing over your independence?

America is a country where women are allowed total freedom to be and do whatever they want. Squandering that freedom for a pair of Gucci shoes is not just idiotic, it’s self-destructive. If old guys float your boat, go find an old guy and date him because he’s old and you like that, not because he’s old and rich.

I’ll take a poor artist who loves me and wants to date only me over Donald Trump (hairpiece! Ahh!) any day. Besides, I already have an old dude who sort of controls my finances. He’s called my dad. And one of him is enough.